I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: 2017 is absolutely hilarious.
Don’t believe me? Pretend you have a time machine and go back ten years in time to describe this completely accurate, non-satirical news story to people in the past. Tell them that Dennis Rodman is volunteering to help President Donald Trump prevent WWIII. And watch people in 2007 spontaneously combust.
For those of you that haven’t been following, Dennis Rodman is best buddies with Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea/bowl-cut icon. He told the British TV show Good Morning Britain that he and Kim have skied and even sang karaoke together. I would give my firstborn child to see a video of Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-un singing a Backstreet Boys song together in a bar.
The ex-NBA star — like most of us — has noticed the growing tensions between our country and Kim’s, and he’s understandably concerned. His brother-from-another-mother Kim is constantly testing nukes, and Trump has threatened to respond with “fire and fury.” These are trying times. So, like a real man, Dennis is taking matters into his own hands and he’s gonna straighten this shit out once and for all.
From New York Post:
Ex-NBA star Dennis Rodman said Wednesday he wanted to “straighten things out” between his BFF Kim Jong Un [sic] and President Trump as the two leaders face off over the rogue regime’s nuke program.
Rodman — whose gal pals have included Madonna, porn star Jenna Jameson and actress Carmen Electra — last visited North Korea in June and his earlier trips stoked talk that he could somehow help the US cut a deal with the North, although his comments on Kim have also drawn ridicule.
Dennis isn’t the hero we want, but he’s the hero we NEED. Wait… Who am I kidding? He’s the hero we want, too..
[via New York Post]
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